When I first met her, long long ago in a galaxy far away, I immediately understood certain things about her...she came from a background far different from mine in oh so many ways, and seemed to enjoy sex on a take it or leave it basis. She had a small narrow mouth (more about this another time), and missionary sex was about the limit of her experience.
But she took my breath away, stole my heart and I never wanted it back. And so I embarked on what would be a journey of trying to expand her horizons. She learned about not being on the bottom all the time, what made her come, sex while menstruating, oral sex, how hot it was to have me masturbate her in the kitchen while guests were ringing the doorbell. We never got to anal penetration (of her), and assplay for the most part wasn't part of the picture (again, for her). Sex was almost always my idea, although She was usually an enthusiastic participant. Porn of almost any sort was out of the question. And over the years have pretty much downshifted to weekend sex, which is fine. The sex I mean, not the downshifting. And because She's a girl, it was usually at the end of a nonconfrontational, nonargumentative day. It wasn't an itch that had to be scratched for her, yet she was always happy to join in.
Tuesday, the NY Times featured an article in the Science section about why people have sex, and included discussion of the 237 reasons given by a large group of people (I'm remembering 2000). I know that She read the article, just as I know that she reads the Get Naked column in Time Out NY. It was an interesting article, although certainly not groundbreaking, not for me anyway. Yet when we got into bed, She was all over me, not interested in her own pleasure in the least, but working hard to do all the special things that exist between long time partners in bed that She would know put me over the top.
Yet I don't think She makes any connection between reading the article about sex and wanting to do it. I'll never understand this basic difference between men and most women. I can sure recognize it all the time, but maybe it's just the hardwiring...guys read about sex, get hard as a rock, and want to do it (OK, not necessarily from that article, but lots of other things). Women read about sex and seem to file it away.
I can't figure out what pushed Her buttons, but I'm not complaining.
In the background: Andrea and Giovanni Gabrieli