My blog is one year old today.
Any anniversary calls for some summations and conclusions, and I've been thinking for the past week about what to say here---a brief summation of what I've done here, an evaluation of whether I've remained true to my goals, an open invitation to readers to throw brickbats or shout hoorah. And none of it coalesced into meaningful paragraphs, so I'm left with doing what the Boy's middle school head used to do when she had to make a speech---random thoughts and musings, in the hope that some of it will draw a smile or a deep thought from someone.
I've made some true friendships with fellow bloggers, and kept more than I've lost. Most are women, many are subs, and I'm still always astonished when someone comments, or when I write to a blogger outside the blog and actually get an answer. I've had im conversations that have lasted over an hour, and not because it was all sex talk. I've missed bloggers who've gone on vacation, and I feel disappointed and left behind when bloggers just stop blogging or take their blogs private without any warning. Thank you to those who have invited me along when they've become "by invitation only". You know who you are, and I'm just thanking you a second time.
I've learned about myself, both from writing things down and from reading what others have written. I've told the truth, I've told stories, I've almost lost a childhood friend because of the blog, and I've learned the desperately bitter truth that I need to remember that I'm the star of my own movie, and that there's tons of room for others. I know that I don't have to act my age, that I never want to grow up, that I'll always want to wear short pants no matter what, that I will always need another mountain to climb, that friends can and will provide help when things are darkest
I've learned to communicate more with Her, even though we talk about things that neither one of us wants to talk about, although the basic problems between us remained unresolved, and cannot perhaps ever be fixed. I still need to figure out whether I can live the rest of my life within that scenario, but I'm dealing with it, and so is She, in Her own way.
Technologically I'm still as backwards as ever. I still shy away from all things that would make this a better blog technically, and I apologize almost weekly to bloggers who ask to link up with me...I know this, and I'm vowing to make amends and do better...I'll figure it out, and update my blogroll before the summer is over.
Thank you to engrailed, who first told me to start this blog (although sadly she is no longer blogging, at least in this context), thank you to lynsey who blew smoke in my ear about my writing and encouraged me to write more, and to the other bloggers who've had the courage and patience to establish a relationship, whether in email or at lunch. Thanks to those who kept checking back when I was travelling, and who wished me godspeed and a good return while I was gone.
And now back to our regularly scheduled programming......