I have barely posted at all in this year, and to a large degree it's because my life has been in emotional turmoil and freefall. Professionally the first four months of the year are always total lunacy, and all of the complications therein are exacerbated by difficulties with Her. We move together and then farther apart, like an accordion, each side independant of the other, and it's drained me emotionally to the point that I have precious little energy for anything except work.
I'm trying to get back to writing more than once a month...the ongoing story of Not Enough was too close to home bear, and it brought out so many of the problems that we're dealing with now. But I am determined to rejoin the blogosphere, as my friend viviane puts it, and would caution all those that wrote me off to just be patient, just a little while longer.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Language
About a year ago I started subscribing to PublicDisgrace.com, where women are "bound, stripped and punished in public." The website comes from kink.com, and I find the submission absolutely breathtaking, especially the shoots done in The Armory in San Francisco. The women run the gamut from thin almost emaciated women with their ribs peeking out to buxom and blowsy blondes with size D or DD breasts. Sometime the women are rank amateurs, in way over their heads, and sometime they're porn actresses who are either earning some spare change or working off some particular fantasy they have. The description of the website is accurate, and they are flogged, face fucked, abused in every way imaginable. They are suspended, choked and smothered, seemingly forced to cum over and over again with a massive vibrator or dildo, they squirt and continue to squirt throughtout the shoot.
I've worked with a trainer at my local gym for many years, switching off as they come and go, employed in an itinerant profession. My latest trainer had me on my hands and knees, lifting an arm forward and pushing the opposing leg backwards, telling me to hold the position.
And so you can well imagine how, when she said "Arch your back!!" I burst into laughter and collapsed on the mat...it was the same phrase, spoken in the same way, that was used on the website to remind the women to stick out their butts, and make their mouths ready for someone's cock.
I've worked with a trainer at my local gym for many years, switching off as they come and go, employed in an itinerant profession. My latest trainer had me on my hands and knees, lifting an arm forward and pushing the opposing leg backwards, telling me to hold the position.
And so you can well imagine how, when she said "Arch your back!!" I burst into laughter and collapsed on the mat...it was the same phrase, spoken in the same way, that was used on the website to remind the women to stick out their butts, and make their mouths ready for someone's cock.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Not Enough #15
The endless night finally ended, just as the sun started to peek over the horizon and light the early morning. And it was that night that we understood our obedience to Amalia, our need to do her bidding and perform in the manner she commanded us.We spoke no words to one another, exchanged no looks or glances to decide how to obey...that night we only acquiesced.
Over the next two weeks we continued our pattern of non-communication, never daring to speak of the night with Amalia. We also continued to harshly and aggressively use each other for sex whenever the urge or occasion arose. I would force her to her knees and fuck her mouth angrily, causing her nose to run and her eyes to weep uncontrollably, her throat battered by my cock until she would almost vomit from the stress. When I came in her mouth, she would stand up and kiss me hard, pushing the cum and the bilious saliva onto my tongue. She would reciprocate by pushing her pussy onto my mouth, grabbing my hair and masturbating herself with my mouth in rhythm to the thrusting of her hips, pushing me behind her to tongue her asshole, pushing my fingers deep inside her as she strummed her clit with her fingers, causing herself to spurt on the hardwood floor, wiping it up with her hand and licking her fingers clean. We no longer bothered with intercourse, preferring the impersonality that the quick hit and run oral sex seemed to give us.
She still gave one night a week over to Amalia, and so for the two weeks after we understood our positions with Amalia, Debra would disappear for the night, returning as Alice well past midnight, reeking of alcohol, her clothes in partial disarray, damp from unknown exertions, exhausted. By the third week, she came home from work and told me that Amalia told her to bring me along that evening, and so I watched as Debra changed her clothes, squirming into a tight black tube skirt that cupped her ass, fishnet stockings, impossibly high heels that I had never seen her wear before, a half bra that pushed her breasts up so that they were practically falling out of the strappy black top that completed the outfit. A long black trench coat completed the outfit, and we quickly went downstairs to find a taxi.
She leaned forward to give the driver our destination, and I gazed out the window as we started to drive towards a neighborhood that we never frequented, somewhere far downtown in the rougher part of the city. She turned sideways and leaned up against me hard, her breasts stabbing me in the arm. Her lips rested on my ear, as she whispered, "Put your hand up my skirt and see how wet I am already."
That's when I found out that she was wearing the open crotch fishnets, and hadn't put on any panties. And I knew it was going to be a very long night.
Over the next two weeks we continued our pattern of non-communication, never daring to speak of the night with Amalia. We also continued to harshly and aggressively use each other for sex whenever the urge or occasion arose. I would force her to her knees and fuck her mouth angrily, causing her nose to run and her eyes to weep uncontrollably, her throat battered by my cock until she would almost vomit from the stress. When I came in her mouth, she would stand up and kiss me hard, pushing the cum and the bilious saliva onto my tongue. She would reciprocate by pushing her pussy onto my mouth, grabbing my hair and masturbating herself with my mouth in rhythm to the thrusting of her hips, pushing me behind her to tongue her asshole, pushing my fingers deep inside her as she strummed her clit with her fingers, causing herself to spurt on the hardwood floor, wiping it up with her hand and licking her fingers clean. We no longer bothered with intercourse, preferring the impersonality that the quick hit and run oral sex seemed to give us.
She still gave one night a week over to Amalia, and so for the two weeks after we understood our positions with Amalia, Debra would disappear for the night, returning as Alice well past midnight, reeking of alcohol, her clothes in partial disarray, damp from unknown exertions, exhausted. By the third week, she came home from work and told me that Amalia told her to bring me along that evening, and so I watched as Debra changed her clothes, squirming into a tight black tube skirt that cupped her ass, fishnet stockings, impossibly high heels that I had never seen her wear before, a half bra that pushed her breasts up so that they were practically falling out of the strappy black top that completed the outfit. A long black trench coat completed the outfit, and we quickly went downstairs to find a taxi.
She leaned forward to give the driver our destination, and I gazed out the window as we started to drive towards a neighborhood that we never frequented, somewhere far downtown in the rougher part of the city. She turned sideways and leaned up against me hard, her breasts stabbing me in the arm. Her lips rested on my ear, as she whispered, "Put your hand up my skirt and see how wet I am already."
That's when I found out that she was wearing the open crotch fishnets, and hadn't put on any panties. And I knew it was going to be a very long night.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
The Not So Bad News
For the longest time, She ran a major surgical unit in one of the better hospitals in New York City, and over the years we became inured to the vagaries of the medical world, the O/R mistakes, the misdiagnoses, the misbehaving patients, the misbehaving doctors and staff, the whole nine yards.
And yet it still shocks us when the doctors trip and fall, revealing themselves to be absolutely human and less than perfect. Her sister was diagnosed two or three weeks ago with Alzheimer's, and was scheduled to go for additional testing on December 31st. And so the phone call that we received on New Year's Day was, if anything, more bizarre than seemingly possible.
The diagnosis of Alzheimer's was yet another medical mistake. Her sister, who has been taking numerous medications for a bipolar disorder was, in fact, misdiagnosed many years ago, and should not have been taking the drugs she was taking. All of her craziness stems, it seems, from being over-medicated, and for the past weeks she has been withdrawing gradually from all the medications.
I'm happy for Her, and happy for Her sister as well, but much of the questions about her behavior the last few years remain...the drugs exacerbate the symptoms, not the personality, and if she's a nasty and caustic bitch, will she remain the same? If it were me, I would be a whole new person, ecstatic over being given a second life.
So the votes are still out.
And yet it still shocks us when the doctors trip and fall, revealing themselves to be absolutely human and less than perfect. Her sister was diagnosed two or three weeks ago with Alzheimer's, and was scheduled to go for additional testing on December 31st. And so the phone call that we received on New Year's Day was, if anything, more bizarre than seemingly possible.
The diagnosis of Alzheimer's was yet another medical mistake. Her sister, who has been taking numerous medications for a bipolar disorder was, in fact, misdiagnosed many years ago, and should not have been taking the drugs she was taking. All of her craziness stems, it seems, from being over-medicated, and for the past weeks she has been withdrawing gradually from all the medications.
I'm happy for Her, and happy for Her sister as well, but much of the questions about her behavior the last few years remain...the drugs exacerbate the symptoms, not the personality, and if she's a nasty and caustic bitch, will she remain the same? If it were me, I would be a whole new person, ecstatic over being given a second life.
So the votes are still out.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Not Enough #14
As Alice continued to shake her head no and beg for some sort of intermission, Amalia's eyes opened wide and her nostrils flared, anger erupting from deep within her. "No? No?!?!? You tepid little slut, there is no NO for you. You do what I tell you when I tell you to do it." And I watched as Amalia's left hand grabbed Alice's hair and pulled back, forcing her to stand tall, then taller, forcing Alice's feet to scrabble on the carpet for traction, bending Alice's head back over her shoulder, compelling her to stand up straight, as her right arm slid up from its position of support until it travelled up to Alice's neck, and reached around to grasp her own left shoulder. Her left hand snaked down and dug itself into Alice's wet slit, her fingers curling sideways to cover as much of her slit as possible, moving slowly at first. Her right knee slid forward under Alice's butt, forcing Alice to open her legs and almost to "present" her vagina to me.
Amalia turned her head to the left, her lips buried in Alice's right ear, tonguing the delicate lobes and canals of her outer ear even as she tightened her arm and constricted the airflow, drawing tighter and tighter around Alice's neck. Alice's eyes opened wider in shock and fear, her speechless acknowledgment of the total loss of control and total surrender that she was feeling. I still remained frozen, sinking deeper on my haunches, my cock erect and bobbing before me, precum oozing once again from my slit.
Amalia's lips began to move slightly, and I strained to hear what she murmurred in Alice's ear, as her voice shrank to a whisper. The breath noises that Alice had been making disappeared, and she paid total attention to the voice in her ear, as if her very life depended on it, and perhaps it did. "You...Don't...Say...No...To...Me! This isn't a game, certainly not for you. You have no choices here, no options." And she hiked Alice's body higher off the ground, tightening her grip, forcing Alice to fight for every breath as her face became redder and redder. "This isn't about you, or what you want. Do you understand? Do...You...Understand?" And Alice shook her head in agreement, struggling to make a positive sound, whispering a "yes".
Amalia released her hold on Alice's neck, and went back to support her by putting an arm across her chest at armpit level, her left hand still strumming madly at Alice's cunt for a moment or two, then removing all support as Alice tumbled to the ground.
"Jerk him off, and this time make sure he cums in your hand."
Amalia turned her head to the left, her lips buried in Alice's right ear, tonguing the delicate lobes and canals of her outer ear even as she tightened her arm and constricted the airflow, drawing tighter and tighter around Alice's neck. Alice's eyes opened wider in shock and fear, her speechless acknowledgment of the total loss of control and total surrender that she was feeling. I still remained frozen, sinking deeper on my haunches, my cock erect and bobbing before me, precum oozing once again from my slit.
Amalia's lips began to move slightly, and I strained to hear what she murmurred in Alice's ear, as her voice shrank to a whisper. The breath noises that Alice had been making disappeared, and she paid total attention to the voice in her ear, as if her very life depended on it, and perhaps it did. "You...Don't...Say...No...To...Me! This isn't a game, certainly not for you. You have no choices here, no options." And she hiked Alice's body higher off the ground, tightening her grip, forcing Alice to fight for every breath as her face became redder and redder. "This isn't about you, or what you want. Do you understand? Do...You...Understand?" And Alice shook her head in agreement, struggling to make a positive sound, whispering a "yes".
Amalia released her hold on Alice's neck, and went back to support her by putting an arm across her chest at armpit level, her left hand still strumming madly at Alice's cunt for a moment or two, then removing all support as Alice tumbled to the ground.
"Jerk him off, and this time make sure he cums in your hand."
Monday, December 28, 2009
The Bad News
About a month ago, I posted something about Her older sister and her medical difficulties, thinking that She and I had the full picture and understood what the problems were.
We were ever so wrong, and it has made the holiday season difficult for both Her and for me. As it turns out, Her sister has Alzheimer's, a particularly tragic diagnosis inasmuch as Her sister is a brilliant scientist and mathematician who works for the National Institute of Health in DC, and is the thing that she dreaded most in all of the numerous possibilities of illnesses. She'll be treated at Johns Hopkins, evidently the best place for Alzheimer's patients, and is scheduled for a full diagnostic panel on Thursday, to determine the extent and progress of the disease. The outcome can never be good, only less bad. We also know that it is somewhat hereditary, and having a sibling with the disease makes Her more prone than otherwise.
As much as I dislike the sister and the way she treated Her, I can't help but feel heartbroken at what I know will be an ever progressing downward slide , a cruel and heartless way to end one's life.
It's made posting about anything else in my personal life somewhat probmatic, but I will be back soon, or soon enough.
We were ever so wrong, and it has made the holiday season difficult for both Her and for me. As it turns out, Her sister has Alzheimer's, a particularly tragic diagnosis inasmuch as Her sister is a brilliant scientist and mathematician who works for the National Institute of Health in DC, and is the thing that she dreaded most in all of the numerous possibilities of illnesses. She'll be treated at Johns Hopkins, evidently the best place for Alzheimer's patients, and is scheduled for a full diagnostic panel on Thursday, to determine the extent and progress of the disease. The outcome can never be good, only less bad. We also know that it is somewhat hereditary, and having a sibling with the disease makes Her more prone than otherwise.
As much as I dislike the sister and the way she treated Her, I can't help but feel heartbroken at what I know will be an ever progressing downward slide , a cruel and heartless way to end one's life.
It's made posting about anything else in my personal life somewhat probmatic, but I will be back soon, or soon enough.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Is The Economy Improving on Main Street?
Sometimes, the best indicators of how much the economy is improving aren't the numbers and pecentages coming out of Washington, but rather then tenor of the local scene...how the local mom and pop stores are doing.
The corner restaurant down the block from me was hit hard by the economic downturn, and one of the ways they tried to stimulate business was a BYOB policy---seven days a week, bring your own wine, no corkage fees. At the end of the summer, they dialed back the policy to Monday through Thursday, and I recently noticed that this inducement was only available Monday and Tuesday.
A smaller glimmer of hope perhaps.
The corner restaurant down the block from me was hit hard by the economic downturn, and one of the ways they tried to stimulate business was a BYOB policy---seven days a week, bring your own wine, no corkage fees. At the end of the summer, they dialed back the policy to Monday through Thursday, and I recently noticed that this inducement was only available Monday and Tuesday.
A smaller glimmer of hope perhaps.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)