Dreams: Whatever You Want-Part I

And so I agreed to do whatever She wanted to do. I mean how far could She go, how strong could She be. We don't have many toys to play with, and usually She's so conventional and vanilla in sex, not quite submissive, but never taking the lead, always the follower, the done unto person.

We met in a hotel room, neutral territory, but of Her choosing, and She was already in the room when I arrived. After a quick negotiation about a safety word, which is what She called it, Sheasked me to pull back the sheets, take off all my clothes, and lie on the bed face up. She took off her shirt and skirt, and was wearing underwear that I'd never seen her in, that She'd bought specially for this, a black shelf bra that thrust her breasts way out, Her pink nipples erect, a sheer thong also in black, and thigh hi stockings. Perhaps I'd misjudged the situation....

I lay down in the middle of the bed, and She took three silk ties out of the carryall on the dresser, tying one end of each around each wrist and then securing the other end somewhere off the end of the bed, out of sight. She used the last tie to blindfold me loosely. I was in total darkness, and worried more with each passing moment. I could hear Her fumbling in the bag again, and then felt Her fastening some device around my scrotum,tightening it until the balls felt like they were bulging obscenely, like grapes being squeezed. Another part of the device fastened around my cock, which was now fully erect, and it positioned my cock to almost vertical, forcing it to stand up almost against my stomach.

I heard Her go back to the carryall, and then felt Her climb up onto the bed and straddle my chest at the waist. She pulled hard on one nipple, and then fastened something onto it as She pulled it up...I could recognize the feel of a miniature bulldog clamp, shooting a jolt of pain as it closed. My cock leapt and pulsed, although trapped. "Don't you dare cum yet," She whispered in my ear. "We're just getting started here." She attached the other clamp, and pulled them apart and together several times, up and down several times, around in circles again and again. My nipples felt inches long as She pulled on them, and my cock began to drool precum.

Watching Porn

Guys watch porn, that's a given. Whether it's glossy and high production level, amateur where they can't quite hold the camera straight and steady, whether it's the things you like to do or the things you don't get to do. Guys watch porn. Maybe it's part of the hard wiring process.

For the most part, women don't watch porn. Yet when they do, they seem to be enormously turned on by it. Whether it's the same reaction as men is hard to know, but porn does reach women when they watch it.

Whenever we watch movies or tv with sexual encounters in it, She's always turned on by it, and She always gets into bed fully ready to open Her legs wide and grab my cock. Why doesn't She make the connection and admit to what turns Her on? Would She be admitting to liking something She thinks of, or used to think of, as immoral or amoral? Doesn't She understand or track what's happening in Her mind when She watches sex?

Or is this part of the approach/denial syndrome?



Earworm-Cat Mother and the All Night Newsboys-Track in A

Carrots (What It's Like)

We go to the Farmer's Market in the village every weekend, and She's become enamoured of the produce of one of the farmers who's trying to go organic (a long and difficult process to certification). And when we went last Saturday, I saw them--a big bunch of multi-colored carrots, not the wimpy ones you usually get at the greenmarket, but hefty, almost tuber looking carrots in purple, orange, white, red. Large and fat, turgid, they looked like a bunch of erect penises.

I've always felt that I should experience whatever She experiences sexually---it's why I started playing around with a butt plug, although that's gotten way further than just mutual experience (my collection is now up to three, and I'm still struggling with the Tristan), but that's another story for another time.

And so I knew what I had to do. I bought the carrots and took them home to play with. I picked out the one that looked most like an erect penis and put it in my mouth, then put it further in my mouth, then lay down on the bed with my head hanging over the edge and put it more into my mouth. I have a terrible gag reflex, and it was all I could do to stay with it, trying to focus on relaxing, yet moving it in and out of my mouth as far as it would go, and I have a large mouth.

In something I read recently, either a blog or in the Village Voice, the writer (a woman) had put on a strap on and was pegging her partner, and she reflected on the co-ordination difficulties she was having. Honey, I sure can understand how giving a blow job, a good blow job, can be hard work, and I can sure appreciate the good ones that I've gotten. And I was essentially doing myself here, at least as far as the oral activity was concerned.

Earworm-Beethoven, Symphony #5-Finale

"In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye...."

And so summer was over, not this past week, and not this weekend, but about two weeks ago, or so. Jack at the beach told me about this a couple of years ago, and I was able to see it clearly for the first time this year.

The quality of the light changes at a certain point at the beginning of August, and it's all downhill from there. It's not a temperature thing, and sometimes it easier to see it at the beach, where the sun glints off the waves. It can still be hot, vicious hot, and it can feel like the warm time of year, but summer is definitely on the downhill slide. Makes me sad....

Most of the world still views the calendar as a September to August situation, meaning that we all still live on the academic year, not the January to December calendar. Kids know this and those of us that refuse to grow up have known this for a long time.

Singers and readers of the readers of the Old Testament know where the title comes from.

Earworm-None, too late at night, and everyone is asleep

Broads

I've always referred to some actresses as broads, although She never liked the term. It was referring to a certain type of actress that could appear tough and yet vulnerable at the same time, who was quick with a smirk or a leer, who picked or chose her moments with men, and who chose when to lose control and surrender.

Ellen Barkin was always like that, long before she got married and divorced. She's that way in the movie Siesta, a film probably best forgotten except for her and for the soundtrack by Miles. Without going back to see it, what I remember is a young girl, tough as nails, making her own way and making her own choices. Holly Hunter is like that now in Saving Grace on TNT. She decides, pure and simple, no matter what the choice is. She decides. Helen Shaver is another.

None of them is a knockout, all attractive and well proportioned (and all blondes, now that I think about it), but all have that certain toughness, that certain edge, that makes you want to do their bidding, no matter what it might be.

Earworm-Allman Brothers-Dreams

Surrender #2

During the summer, we wind up watching movies and TV shows that we order from Netflix, things we either didn't feel like spending $22 dollars on in the theaters, or stuff on premium channels that we don't subscribe to (we don't get any of them, no HBO, no Showtime, no nothin').

One of the shows we're catching up on this summer is Weeds, second season. The plot gets too convoluted to try to explain, but there's a sequence where the Mary Louise Parker's brother-in-law is trying to seduce the principal of his yeshiva/rabbinical school, only to have her reject him as not being manly enough (not a macho guy, the brother-in-law). But she does like his smooth skin and smooth ways....And in the next scene, she's stripped down to sexy underwear and thigh high stockings, and he's wearing less. She has on a strap on with a black cock that's way bigger than most guy's equipment, he's kneeling on the bed, and waiting on the penetration, as she tells him it's not as big as he thinks it is, and yes he can handle it.

We watched this together, and interestingly enough, She didn't comment on the scene at all, hot as it was. Maybe She's getting the idea, now that she's gotten together with the concept of sticking more than one finger up my butt....

Random Thoughts #1

How long do you stay with an unposting blog? I had been reading Three World Collide until the beginning of July, when they suddenly stopped posting, and one of my alltime favorties, Myths and Metawhores, a truly literate blog dealing with all sorts of sexy issues, now posts photos (of the blogger??) and poetry (not by the blogger, but great stuff, nonetheless) on a more or less monthly basis.

Why do I have more patience with the antics and foibles of Lindsay Lohan than with Britney Spears? Is it because she's done some wonderful movie work and has legitimate talent, as opposed to doing videos for MTV which usually generate leers in the gym when they run on the very large screens there? These are both two sad confused little girls with no serious adult guidance in sight, yet for me one seems more pitiable and sad, whereas the other is just laughable (and sad as well).

And why can I never clean up my desk, no matter how hard I try?

Earworm-Robert Randolph Band, Ain't Nothing Wrong With That